A Long Strange Trip, the Conclusion: The Night I Lost All Fear

On December 31, 2015, I had the two most powerful spiritual experiences of my life. The first of these occurred as I was on my way to the First Metaphysical Church for a special New Year’s service.

I was listening to a song on the car stereo that reminded me of Christina (my girlfriend in heaven), when suddenly I felt her holding me tighter than ever before. I also felt that in some sense, God was holding me as well.

It’s hard to describe exactly what this was like, except to say that it felt like the entire universe was holding me in its arms! The love I experienced was parental, romantic, angelic and cosmic all at the same time; and it was so powerful that it made me break down and weep for several minutes.

I had never experienced such joy before in my entire life – nor have I since. The idea that I may someday be in the presence of such a love for all eternity boggles my imagination!

The second experience occurred at the church itself. A large group of us had gathered for a time of meditation, aided by tribal drumming, gongs, and bells of various sorts. (I must emphasize that I was awake and completely sober throughout the experience that follows!)

From the very beginning I felt an intense sense of Sophia’s (God’s) presence. Then, as the drumming got more aggressive, I felt something primal rising up from within me; something that had been buried there for ages, that I didn’t know was there until that night.

I felt my breathing intensify and sweat drip down my brow as the drumming led me into my third (and most intense) out-of-body experience. I saw myself out in the wilderness in some bygone age, in the middle of a pack of black bears. Leading this pack was Sophia Herself, in the form of a large mother bear. I physically felt my hands and feet turning into bear claws, and felt the crunch of the cold ground underneath me as I ran with the pack.

Soon after this I heard the sound of a gong, and I was no longer a bear. Now I was a Native American hunter, looking in vain for food as I saw colonialists leveling the forest in front of me. My face burned with anger when I saw them cutting off our food supply; and I charged forward ready to fight! But before I could get any further, I heard another gong.

I then found myself in the middle of a desert. I didn’t know who or where or when I was; just that I was thirsty and there was no water to be found. My throat was more parched than I could ever remember it being. I cried out in desperation for Sophia to give me something to drink; and then I saw a woman in dreadlocks coming toward me.

She put her hands on my shoulders to soothe me, and together we prayed in tongues for quite a while. I felt my thirst gradually lessen as the Spirit was poured into me. Then I felt my muscle and bone structure change – as if I was evolving into some sort of super-human being!

After this the gong sounded one more time, and I found myself back in the United States – but half of the nation was underwater! I knew I had to do something to help, but didn’t know what to do.

Then I saw Christina, who had taken the form of an angel. “I need your wings,” I said, and Stina equipped me with a set of angel wings of my own. I flew up over the sea, and then saw that there was some sort of demonic power waiting on the other side.

When I got to the other side of the sea, I saw that the demonic force was hovering over the White House. I looked to my left and right, only to discover that every major political power in the world had a similar demon over it.

I felt my fingers tingling with electric energy. Spreading my hands apart, I parted the sea like Moses – and began firing surges of electricity at the demons – which crackled and fizzed when they were hit, but were not destroyed. My energy was weakening, and I felt like I was going to fall out of the sky at any moment. Nevertheless, I continued shooting at the demons, and eventually they dissolved.

Now, at least, the governments are free to help the people, I thought. But there was one more problem, even worse than what had already happened. Looking into the horizon, I saw storms brewing. I knew that we were headed for an environmental disaster far worse than anything humanity had ever seen!

At that moment, I felt something lifting me into the sky and out into space. I didn’t know exactly what was happening, but all around me I saw stars exploding. My fingers were still crackling with electric energy. In the distance I saw a bright light, and I felt myself being pulled through a swirling vortex toward that light.

Oh my God, I’m dying! I thought. That’s okay, I said to God. If this is my time, I surrender to it. Maranatha! Come, Lord Jesus!

When I finally reached the light, everything went black and I felt myself being held gently in the arms of Sophia. Opening my eyes, I saw Jesus descending toward what appeared to be the earth – but there was nothing living on it. It was a formless void, just like in the book of Genesis.

Then, slowly but surely, little shoots and branches began to emerge from the earth. A new world was being created. Jesus settled on this new earth, and I could see that He had a lot of other people with Him. They were starting a new community – one where everyone and everything would be at peace. The time of war, famine and destruction was over.

The next thing I knew, I was sitting in the same chair I had been earlier. The entire meditation service had lasted only about half an hour; but I felt like I had lived through several epochs of world history.

I slowly got up from my seat and joined the rest of the people for a festive meal, shaken but stronger. When I looked in the mirror, I saw that my muscle tone had doubled. Somehow, I had gotten a month’s worth of weight training accomplished in a 30-minute trance!

To this day, I have no explanation for what happened at the church that night. But I emerged from this experience with a new confidence. Having seen almost the entire history of the world, including things that were soon to come, I no longer felt any fear. I entered the new year boldly, ready for my shamanic ministry to begin.


(This ends the “Long Strange Trip” series. Next post: The Theology of “Om Nom Nom.”)


2 thoughts on “A Long Strange Trip, the Conclusion: The Night I Lost All Fear

  1. I just finished reading this “Long Strange Trip” series. What a moving and engaging journey. I look forward to more of your posts and really appreciate all of the effort you put into this blog.

    I have just started my path (or better yet, this new leg of my path), and I pray that I will have some experiences that will shed some light on things for me. Your story was very eye-opening and gave me a lot of hope.


    1. Well thank you! It’s always good to know that I’m reaching someone. Sometimes it’s hard to tell. I’m glad you enjoyed my writing and look forward to having more discussions with you in the future.


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